Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
