sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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