we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you traded sex for a burrito?
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
