I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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