We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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