that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
