Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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