She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
