is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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