Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
