Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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