I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
