Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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