Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
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