I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
