Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
