Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
