It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
