You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
