Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
