so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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