i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
