you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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