I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Randomize
