I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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