six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
