one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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