and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
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