My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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