I wish I only lived at night.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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