We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
