very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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