ugly people sure do ruin things
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
