they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
