Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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