Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize