i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
