Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
