While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
