I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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