Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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