You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
