they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
