So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
