i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Floor bacon is actually really good
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
