About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
