in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize