we're blogging at a bar
We won't sleep together?
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Randomize
