Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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