her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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