R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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