My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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