I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
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