I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
