U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
