This girl is more easily done than said...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
