idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize