but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
