if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize
