8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
