do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
