I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
