I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
